You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
