you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
