I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
