I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
