Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
