After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
