you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
