and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
