When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
