What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
