WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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