That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I understand Curling. That high.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
