I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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