i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Help. Why am I so naked?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
