Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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