I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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