sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
