I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I forget how to act sober
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