Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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