The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
