It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
