That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
