we have officially lost it.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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