Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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