recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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