So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
