Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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