I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize