Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
