He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize