How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
