I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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