R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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