last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize