I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
