Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
