walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
