I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
