So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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