I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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