the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
false alarm. still invincible.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
