i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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