just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
