So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
