Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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