Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
