Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
