So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
