that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
