Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We need to rekindle our bromance
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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