Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
