big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
