i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
