covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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