p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize