Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just pee around me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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