I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
false alarm. still invincible.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
