God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize