I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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