Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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