she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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