Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
