I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
