So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
