There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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