no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
