She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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