Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
