Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
