i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
