It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
